Name
Gwendolyn (:

take me to the sky

11:25 PM










I bought a pair of sports shoes today together with Mr Mah! I probably bought a whole lot of things this month and trying to justify my reasons for buying them. The reason for my purchase today, my old Nike pair gave up on me during the trip at Ubin and the soles were ripped off halfway which resulted in me nearly falling off my bike because it got stuck.
My throat feels sandpapery and it's not a good sign. The room is in a mess with all the books and publications that I've bought and am now struggling to finish. My stash of books are getting more and my speed of reading is not enough. If only I can stop myself from buying more books before I finish reading those that I already have.

2:47 AM This probably came a few days late but oh well, I'm busy. Went for Disney Princess on Ice on the mother's birthday and surprisingly, I enjoyed myself. All the fairytales with happy endings from eons ago were played out in front of my eyes with me scarcely remembering the stories. I guess my favourite part was Aladdin because I get to see the blue genie and Aladdin was the most handsome among the rest of the princes. They have to act, sing and skate in that limited space we call the National Indoor Stadium. Skating was pitch perfect except for the fall one of the princes suffered. I saw Mickey and Minnie, Tinklebell, Goofy and the 7 princesses and princes from the fairytales. Perhaps that was all to it, all the childhood imaginations of meeting the fairytale characters that I've read about. All the happily ever afters from numerous Disney cartoons and fairytales. I've grew out of them and grew up and I realised that reality are different from fairytales and there are no happily ever afters. Ever realised that all stories end with "they lived happily ever after" but what's next? What else is after "happily ever after"? Where are the arguments, the fights, the tears, the screaming, the commitment and the responsibilies of "happily ever after"? Why do the stories not continue or are they too ugly to be continued? We never know, but happily ever after do not exist in real life and if you believe in them, I wish you well for having the innocence of a kid, for having your eyes untainted by the realities of this world. For living in that fantasy of yours. You're lucky, treasure it.

It's funny how 80% of the family were born in March. It's sad to say that I'm always poor during the month of March. By being the eldest in the family and the only one capable of shouldering any responsibilies, I am always the one purchasing the cakes for the birthday boy/girl. Why the fuck are cakes getting more and more expensive especially when it's so small? Price have no relevance to size and shops should open till 11pm every night. I should not complain since the mother always buy my cakes for me, every year without fail. It's just more difficult for me because March is a month when I'm usually broke. I don't know why but I always feel so inadequate during this time.

I've made a list, it's not the bucket list but a list of what I want to do during this period of time when I'm out of school and stuck in limbo. I wish for the best but seriously, I don't really care. I just want to complete whatever I have on the list and be prepared for whatever that is going to come next in my life. Karma doesn't work so I shall revert to my pre karma days. Results will be out at 9am and it's now 3.36am. I should dump my head in a pail of water or go on a trip soon, real soon.

11:40 AM I've kind of lost track of time and what I've been up to the past few days. All I remember was the throng of people at the IT fair, the soreness of the feet and all the questions that I've answered. The smell of stale cigarattes, the smell of so many people squeezing in such a small space, the smell of bad breath and body odour is something that the nose can never forget. The memories of wonderful people working together and all my loves are things that the brains will never forget. The Zouk party, the Indochine meetup, the Starbucks grab and go and The Prata House supper are things that were done after working hours. Where did we find the energy, I really don't know. The various bus stops that I went to each morning before meeting up with the girls provided something different before the start of work each day. The many familiar people that I saw in the 4 days at level 6 and the many times that I've lost count of THE COUNTING process was repeated day in and out. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and I've learnt a couple of things.

Lessons that I've learnt:

• I'm really bad at remembering prices, as long as it's numbers, I don't recognise. I probably said the wrong prices for the same mouse that I'm selling for 4 days straight.
• Believe in the product you're selling. As long as you believe in it, you can bullshit all the way.
• Be sincere in helping people, they can sense it if you're not.
• Pout like you have never pout before or try pouting like Renee. She gives out more pamplets just by pouting her way through.
• Smile and be nice, people appreciates it.
• Never trust the salespeople, they probably don't know anything. Reseach and find out what you want before purchasing.
• If the salesperson sounds hesitating, don't TRUST anything she said.
  

12:18 PM I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm every morning and I spent the next 15 minutes dreading the sound of my alarm. After that, I spent the next half an hour dragging myself out of bed and the cycle repeats every single day. I thought that by waking up every morning with the same scene repeating in your fuzzy brain is worse enough, now, I have a whole wake up routine to adhere to.

Kids nowadays should play in the playground and stop making a nuisance of themselves in cinemas where everyone pays the same money to enjoy a show. We would seriously much prefer the silence and peace to complete the show instead of the various vibrations and screams, not to mention the utterly redundant comments that you made.

A chance encounter is better than having not meet you at all.

3:16 AM Was really surprised when I received the letter of notification for the interview this Friday. Was not mentally prepared for it and I sort of panic when I read the letter. Was whining to the mother while she's feeding the baby before deciding that I should calm down and grab a hold of myself. I wish I can get through the interview and be able to get what I want instead of settling for something that I have no interest in. I shall be REAL nice till I receive my results in case karma strikes me when I least expect it. 

2:13 AM




12:36 PM My sleeping pattern was somehow disrupted during the exam period and now, I'm having a difficult time sleeping ealier and waking up earlier without taking naps during the day.