Name
Gwendolyn (:

take me to the sky

12:46 PM 4 cakes and counting..i'm growing fatter and fatter. Actually i don't really care if i am getting any fatter.

Was drag out of bed by thunderthighs today and i think she missed me. She cried whenever i am out of her sight and she wants to be carried by me the whole morning. I'm glad that she's asleep right now, i'm so tired after entertaining her for so long. She was dancing along to the music earlier this morning and that is so CUTE! She woke up an hour later and we had a romp on the bed. Haha her laughter is sweet music to my ears...i love that baby!

The internet sms thingy sucks! I didn't receive wifey's reply and that got me worried for a bit. Thought that she was lost in Jurong or something like that but it was just a sms lost in the virtual world. I'll miss talking to her while she's on her team building trip.

So many things are going through my mind right now and i am feeling totally lost. Usually i am the one who don't really care about the stuff that is going on around me but somehow, this time, it strikes too close to the team that i have grown to love. I wonder what the outcome will be. I wonder if we will stand together or just break and fall apart. Will we be commited enough to turn up for both trainings and friendly games instead of just turning up for the games? Lots of questions left unanswered and i wonder if YOU ever feel part of the team? The walk home was great but the thought of some coward snooping around behind my back just leaves a bitter after taste. Seriously, where are your balls?! I am not interested in your daily life so stop telling me about them.

11:55 PM My day was spent with people of not much importance in my life right now except for that crazy, love-sick girl. Didn't really enjoyed myself as much as i hoped i would on a birthday but at least, i appreciate the thought that went into making this day as special as possible. It ain't possible between us anymore and i don't know how to reiterate this point to you and make it any clearer than it is. Maybe i should just adopt my "ignore at all cause" strategy all over again. Anyway, the food that i had for lunch was not bad. Movie was slow and boring (perhaps it's the company), the drink was nice too and the ice-cream cake just came at the wrong time. Too full to have anymore to eat and i do not like the suspense leading up to the drink and cake. Maybe it's just me, but i really do not like to be the last one to know. I mean, if you want to go somewhere for a drink, just say it and not say "you'll see when you get there." I do not like the insecurity that i am getting from you and maybe that's why we split. There are so many things that i am searching for, that you do not possess and i don't think you ever could. So get it clear that it is OVER between us and maybe it will be easier for both of us and everyone around us. Perhaps it is a wrong decision on my part to hang out again as friends because i don't think you treat me as one. Or is it that i am too sensitive? I thought everything was so obvious to the people around me, the body language, the tone of voice, the avoidance of eye contact, all state that i am not interested anymore. So please, help that person to get out of his rut and not give that person any more ideas, fantasy, hope of getting back again. It ain't possible! Don't try anything special like popping by my place at the stroke of midnight to sing me a birthday song or anything like that. I would have appreciated it more if it had been people/friends that were closer to me. It is not original and i am not someone who will apreciate "romantic" gestures like these. It may be "romantic" to certain people but to me, i think it's plain stupidity especially when you opened the door to find someone you've totally lost interest in and to actually find out that the plan was used before by someone else and was just adopted by the pathetic soul. No originality is one thing but the other was the wimpiness (if there's such a word) that i see from you. I think a guy should show some guts in saying what they want to say and doing what they want to do. Not a half hearted attempt and then be shy halfway. Where are your balls?! Ok..i think i ranted enough.

The dinner at home was better with home-cooked food and friends i love. Was quite a last minute decision and i am glad that Grace and Charlene was able to make it. Thank you to all those who wished me happy birthday and the presents and birthday card that i got. Love you all! I bought myself two books today which i think wifey and i will enjoy :)

11:20 PM My weekends were fantastic all thanks to wifey! She drove me out for lunch on Saturday after her visit to the sinseh whereby i heard certain funny stuff although i was trying hard to concentrate on my reading. And that means i didn't get very far away from where i started haahaa..
We went to a place in Chinatown for good Korean food where we took a good 5 minutes trying to parallel park with 3 uncles staring at us. After we finally managed to park, we found the place and sat down for our good food. I shall let the pictures do the talking.

Our little dishes..
Can't remember what this is called but there's rice cake, chicken and cabbage in it. We got to try the Korean rice cake that we always see on TV programmes.
The happy girl eating her greens.
I think that's potato that i'm putting in my mouth.
And yes! It's delicious!


11:36 PM I seriously hate to officiate with PCK Pte Ltd! Arg..just kill me the next time i have to officiate with him again. I allowed him to have a one man show again. Shucks, i'm just too nice sometimes.

Self-select timetable occured today in the midst of a frenzy and stressed nerves. Couldn't understand why Brenda told us not to be stressed while selecting our timetable and i regret what i said to her immediately after. It was super stressful as the timetable was only available a few seconds after we logged on. Got into a class whereby Fridays will suck for 1 semster and Mondays will be the best day. At least there will be no more Monday blues and Mondays shall be movie day for us. The class was kind of split up since everyone got into different classes. At least i still have Mel, Sharon and Tng. Now, it's just left with choosing what electives we want on Thursday. Please pray that i'll get the electives i want so that i don't have to drag myself to school on Thursdays. It is bad enough that i have sucky Fridays and i really hope that Thursdays will be great. Not really looking forward to the start of next semster whereby i'll see a lot of new faces in class. No JX please!

Island Creamery was the antidote to our stressed nerves. Had nutella and cookies and cream ice cream with Mel, Sharon, Tng and Debbie after selecting our timetable. Spent some time there chatting and photo whoring before meeting wifey and the nut at Queensway Shopping Center. Super tired with a bad back, the nagging pain is back and i don't know why. They found what they were looking for and we went for dinner at Subway. Appetite was bad and i can't fall asleep at night no matter how tired i am so i can get grouchy at times. The long bus ride home was good. It leaves me alone with my thoughts but there wasn't much to think was it?
"Darling", how sweet was that? I'm afraid of divulging too much information in front of you.

2:30 PM Been getting lots of bruises on my limbs and mummy says i must rub them. Too lazy to be sitting down and rubbing my bruise when i've got better things to do.

Got kicked by a player while officiating on Saturday at BBAXN. It's been a long time ever since i've officiated the guys game at BBAXN. The first game was bad experience for me last year but surprisingly, it's ok this time round. I just ignored their calls of "Ref, come on! It's a foul.." or "Why is it not a foul? Ref?" and i'm glad that i am better able to handle them now. The whole of Sunday was spent at SBC and i stank myself nearly to death. Why, oh why didn't i bring stuff to shower? It was such a hot and humid day yesterday.

I am tired of talking to people who listen and yet not do anything, i'm tired of being treated as a substitute so stop treating me like one. Or maybe i can just stop myself from being a substitute. Fatigue is overtaking me..

Glad of the little break time i am having today. Spending time with Twen, baby ashley and mummy can be peaceful and relaxing. Too bad i have to leave for officiating soon. Going back for orientation tomorrow and to select our timetable for the new year. After that will be meeting my wifey for a walk around at Queensway. Looking forward to Saturday!

Labels: My daily rantings

10:50 PM Read this in Reader's Digest last week "Procrastination is an addiction. So is being defensive. Or refusing to accept responsibility for your mistakes. My addiction was conflict avoidance. I learnt to give people what they wanted and i was rewarded. But the flip side was that, i didn't learn to ask what i, wanted for myself." I guess procrastination and conflict avoidance are both my addictions. I procrastinate too much and only work on things when the deadline is very near and most often than not, the deadline is just 24hrs away. Till then, Gwen is a happy and stress free girl.
I love to avoid conflict because i feel that it's no point arguing when 2 person are both angry and most probably not really listening to the other party. Why not wait a few days where everyone cools down and are more level headed to talk things out. Communication is a very important tool and it is the bridge between 2 person. If both parties are not communicating,then the bridge wouldn't be needed. It is extremely difficult when both parties obviously care for one another and are just too stubborn to talk things through. Its hard to pretend you care for someone when you don't but its even harder to pretend that you don't when you really really do. I shall rest my case.

I haven't been blogging frequently because firstly, i am busy. Still busy but surviving. Secondly, i'm lazy to hook up to the internet in the dining room,when i used to have my own modem in my room. It decided to stop working for Twen so i guessed they had a quarrel too. Thirdly, when i settled down to blog, my mind becomes empty, blank, like totally not in existence. Forthly, i seem to have lost my language and can't write in coherant and complete sentences. Last but not least, i am completely uninspired by what i have been reading, not reading, watching, not watching and all the stuff that had been happening around me. I suggest to just coop up in my room with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book or a trip to my aunt's place for a nice facial, massage and waxing session. I prefer the latter...

Training was all right yesterday. The 10 rounds took a toll on me. Was it because i am super unfit or was it because of the officiating in the morning? I'm glad i completed it anyway. Left hand lay-up is so not my cup of tea. My left hand is dead! Totally cannot do anything when left on its own. Reverse lay-up wasn't as easy as it seemed. Putting the balls in is secondary to doing it the right way. I shall not mention how our set play went. Wifey should understand. Too dependant on the guy who put in most or was it all of our shots. Muscles are aching right now and officiating this morning was bad. I was in my own world most of the time.

Mummy's bday was celebrated with a mini feast. Can't really understand why my brother doesn't want to go when there's good food and had to be coax hard before he came with us.

I love March because there's so many cakes to be eaten! Ha..all the good food too. How could i have lost weight when all i do is eat, Ms Wong? You sure there's nothing wrong with your eyes?

I need a little hug. Feeling emo..

1:29 AM Great weekend spent with my babes and i felt recharged. Was officiating at ACS on saturday when dear wifey 23 came down to support me instead of spending her day with her affair. Sunday was a great day K boxing with wifey and her affair. Head down to the IT fair after that and i bought a radio. A portable dvd player was given to me as a bday gift. Monday was a lovely,lovely day because we had great food and a great shopping trip buying VCDs. The girls came over to my house today and played with baby Ashley before we head down to SBC. Actually, i'm getting tired of filling up my days so much that i have no time for myself. My diary is packed this week but next week shall be a better week. I'm such an optimist!

12:48 PM

1:04 AM I like the way baby woke me up today :)

Brunch at home today before i cab down to SBC for the 3rd/4th game. Took the cab because i missed the bus and will be late if i wait any longer so i wasted $5.80 and reached SBC 45 minutes earlier. Had milo peng with uncle C.K and S.K and i was bored to death with their conversation! Didn't do well enough today and i can feel it. Was it because i couldn't focus or was it because of other reasons that i don't really want to know. Shucks! I better concentrate for tomorrow's game which is like 12hrs away. Don't want to screw it up for either school. I wished my partner was someone whom i can understand their officiating better. Today went totally off because fouls that was directly in front of me and purposely let go by me was called by my partner. WTH?! It made me looked bad and confused me on his way of officiating. I wished my partner was someone younger and our frequency should be around the same wavelength. Tomorrow should be a better day but my partner is not any better. I wish i don't have to be so affected by my partner but i can't because it's a "team" thingy and i have to try to understand the old foggies. Looking forward to Thursday because it might be the best finals i'll ever officiate this week. While waiting for jasmine and grace to arrive, i read at Mac's without buying anything at all. Had dinner with them before NBL and then it's prata time again with Dennis and gang. How can i not put on weight with all the eating ever since CNY?

Looking forward to baby's arrival in 6 hours time. This time, i'll be awake even before she arrives. *Surprise*

Ohh..i want to go to the IT fair this week!! Anyone interested to go with me? Buzz me, email me, sms me, msn me, grab me or do anything you can to tell me you want to go with ME!

What started during dinner last year should end at this year's dinner.

9:20 AM I guess it's time i stop slacking and start officiating my ass off. Been spending time with family, baby ashley and baby this couple of weeks and it has been all good. Now it's time for me to earn for my shopping trips in the weeks to come. Shall get back to my VCDs and books too.

The pain gripped me suddenly and all i saw was a sea of green. Luckily i made it to the sofa before i collasped. Never had such pain before and i was glad that it's over. Mummy was scared and so was i but then, i survived.

I realised that it is March already!

12:20 PM Yesterday went totally wrong. Woke up early thinking that i have to go to school for SC meeting and then we didn't go because of our lazy bones. After that, mummy decided to bring baby Ashley to my aunt's house so as to play with my nieces and so we took a cab down. Fell asleep on the baby mattress while my nieces decided to climb all over me. Waited till around 4 plus for the rain to stop and it didn't. And when the rain stopped, i decided to go down while mummy and baby Ashley go home. But it had to rain again!! Arg..so i have to send mummy and baby home in a cab again. Seriously, i hate the rain. Why does it have to rain whenever we have friendly matches with SR? Why does it have to rain again when my plans are set?

The only good part yesterday was that i managed to spend time with my 3 beautiful nieces. But it's difficult trying to split myself between the 3 of them and baby ashley getting jealous.

I dreamt of mentor last night. It was a vivid dream and then, i dreamt of Andrea.