Name
Gwendolyn (:

take me to the sky

1:00 PM Listening to your favourite music reminds me of you again. It brings back the pain and the memories too.

Went to Island Creamery yesterday for ice cream with Mel, Tng and Chenghui. Was good, no doubt and i like the apple pie. Shall bring Yuen or anyone there someday.

Somehow, it's more relaxing to converse when we are friends. I'm sorry for causing you pain due to my weakness. I'll stand strong and firm in order not to hurt you again. Don't wait because waiting doesn't bring anything and it is just a waste of time. I'm thankful that i met you but i have to be harsh and i know it hurts.


1:39 AM Weather is getting more and more unpredictable nowadays, was sunny in the morning and the next thing i know, it was raining cats and dogs. Was caught in the rain on my way home but luckily i had my jacket with me to keep myself warm in the chilly rain. The weather reminds me of Christmas. In my memory, Christmas is always cool and wet so the weather tells me that Christmas is just around the corner. I love Christmas with no particular reason at all.

2:33 AM Chocolates and bubble tea make one fat and i admit that i have been taking both too often lately, sometimes even in the middle of the night before bed. Shucks, i should cut down on them and my sugar content too. Want to be trim and fit, not fat and lumpy.

Think i should start focusing on my school work now. More often then not, i fell asleep trying to do my tutorials and woke up feeling more guilty then ever. Common tests are creeping up and i realised that i'm not ready for it at all. Projects are also due soon and i also realised that i have at least 2 to really worry about. The best thing is, i know that they are due soon but i don't know how soon. The irony of it baffles me. The 2 weeks break might be the antidote to all my troubles and yet i have to survive the common tests before the lights at the end of the tunnel dawns on me.
WCOM - survey, report not done
BMGT - practically everything is not done yet
PBL - completed part 1 of project
LMS - nothing is done
IAC - as above

On a lighter note, met Mr Lee for dinner at MOS burger today. It's always raining whenever i meet him and i hate the rain. I dislike bringing the umbrella out to add on to the weight of my bag. Went to Teck Ghee CC to officiate with Grace and Mr Lee tagged along. Hope the games didn't bore him to death. Felt that we did reasonably well for the game tonight and yet the last comment by the coach irks me. Oh well, the foul that i called in the end proves that i'm still keeping up with the pace of the game and hopefully shuts him up. Will be there again tomorrow and it's the girls game! Woohoo..i'm happy.

10:40 PM Dinner at Kovan's Hong Kong Cafe was good. The food there is not bad and it's a nice change from all the fast food that i have been having this week. Mr Lee passed me a card reader and now i can transfer all the pictures from my camera to Twen. Too bad it can't read my handphone's card if not i can send him the pictures we took on Monday. Never mind, i shall go get another reader that can read mini SDs if i am not wrong. We wanted to chill at Mac's after dinner actually, but i saw people playing bball at PL CC and dragged him there to watch the match. Saw Glen, Joe, Roland, Ronald, Jesse and Alvin Yap there officiating. Actually, Glen and Joe was just there to watch the game. Too bad that the dates they gave me are not my free days if not i don't mind officiating under 19s game. Oh well, at least i still have games to officiate at Teck Ghee CC which is so near my house.

11:42 PM I should take a gun and shoot myself in the head. Lessons ended early today, not to mention that i skipped lectures in the morning so i had plenty of sleep. Guess what, once i reached home today, i went back to bed again! I seriously wonder what is making me so tired everyday that all i wanted to do is to lie in bed and probably just die in it. I'm supposed to come home and figure out the profit and loss statement for our BCA presentation tomorrow and all i do is sleep. Maybe i shall not make my bed every morning as i will be messing it up in the afternoon after classes so it saves time for me in the morning. It also buys me more time in bed too :) But then again, i'm sure mummy will kill me if i do that.

Meeting today during WCOM didn't go very well. I was the operations manager and i know nothing about my job scope so i didn't have much to say. Crap..i hope it doesn't pull the grades down. CH was great as usual. He knew how to open and close a meeting whereas i know nothing about it. Luckily i wasn't the chairperson or i would have died faster.

Daddy made an appointment to have dinner with me this week. I'm sure he exaggerated, i'm not that busy at all. This week is relaxing as i came home early everyday and my organiser states that i'm pretty free in the evenings till the weekends. Therefore, i can have dinner with him every night except tomorrow since i'm meeting Mr Lee at Kovan for dinner. Hmm..i think i'm not free on Friday too because someone asked me to go Vivocity on that day. Opps, Thursday is out too since i have bball trainings on that particular day. And that leaves daddy with nothing till next week. Ah ha..so i'm busy after all.

Guys are wierd. Why is there a sudden message asking me if i missed you when we have not kept in contact for weeks. Oh please stop bothering me cause i'm really not interested at all. "Miss me for who i am", what a laugh. I don't even know who you are exactly.



5:44 PM I've got a date to watch Casino Royale later on in the evening cum dinner. Oh well, it's just a date.
Quite surprised by what he did as i can't remember him being so gentlemanly. Casino Royale was nice but Daniel Craig was not as suave as Pierce Brosnan but his body was goooodd..

I'm a lazy girl. Suppose to be doing tutorial once i reached home today but i went to bed and now i'm preparing for my night out. Sorry CL, can't watch the show with you. We'll pick another one k.

11:35 PM Gymming again on a Sunday morning. Didn't do my leg exercises as my knee is still aching. Nearly gave way last night when i was officiating so i don't want to take the chance. Did all the arms exercises and i felt so weak. Muscles are aching now but i'm glad of the workout. I think my shoulders are broader now as shown when i wore my clothes. That's something happy for the week. Nearly won during arm wrestling just now with my brother! Haha we had a tie! Embarrassing la since he's a kid or i should say teenager since he's 13 years old but i'm a girl leh.

11:49 PM I hate taxi drivers who think that they are so smart when actually, they are as dumb as asses. I specifically told the uncle that i'm going to Geylang Serai CC and it's somewhere near Haig Road and that uncle told me that there's no CC at Haig Road and brought me to Kampong Ubi CC instead. WTH?! Doesn't he understand that Kampong Ubi CC and Geylang Serai CC are two different places all together?! In the end, he decided to try his luck and brought me to Haig Road instead and we found the CC. If he had just believed me and brought me to Haig Road immediately, i could have save a bit more on the cab fare. Why don't guys listen at all. If you are so smart, you would have known that Geylang Serai CC is indeed at Haig Road!

Morning's game was horrible. Opponent was so rough and it wasn't a clean and fair game. In the end, we retaliated and did the same things they did to us. I know i was rough and i purposely tripped someone over when she tried to drive pass me, at least i got the ball. I should really try to control myself on court and not fly off the handle.

I love Hebe Tian!

12:39 AM Words can't express all, let my thoughts run wild

Can't sleep again. Shall blog about the book i just finished. "At first sight" was nice and i thought it would be a happy ending at first but sadly, the female protaganist died in the end. Shucks, his characters always die in the end and the couple will not end up together and live happily ever after. I don't believe in ever afters but yet, i still want to read about them in novels. It seems to balance out the harshness of the complicated world that we live in and makes reality not as harsh as it is. I'm not making sense now and i think the lord has come to claim me to dreamland. And i haven't even pack my bag yet. Bloody shit!

11:31 PM Match was cancelled again! That's like the 3rd time i was being cancelled this week. WTF?! No money, no cash and it's a total waste of time and effort to bring my stuff along. It's heavy to bring so many things to school and it's totally tiring to lug all my stuff with me wherever i go. But i need the cash! Bloody hell, next week i'm not down for any games and i keep getting cancelled so where is the cash coming from? I've got no time at all. Dinner with fave partner and busy bee is nice. Woke up early to print out things needed for presentation and yet i'm not tired now. I must be nuts.

Presentation was all right this morning. 3 out of 5 of my group members were late. How nice of the tutor to not penalise us on that. Oh well, we split up our work quite fairly and i guess she can see who's working and who's not working. I seriously pray that her big eyes are useful in this area and give us our due credit.
It is simply not helpful when you turn up for group meetings and do nothing constructive and just stress the rest of the group with your whinings. It is also not helpful to us when you tell us that other classes have aleady completed their assignment and we have not even done our report draft. If you are so concerned, i'm sure you would have done something about it and not just whine to us, how ugly your eyeliners are or how messy your hair is. The fact is, i don't care and all i want is to finish what we have on hand and you can go if you want to. We don't need you around to gossip with your friends while the rest of us work our ass off and neither do we need you around to tell us what you think because you only think of yourself and not for the group. I know the topic interests you and you would be more willing to work for it but it's totally not beneficial at all. We are totally not interested to visit Geylang just so you can look at the prostitutes there and interview them. I'm sure your boyfriend( i pity him) or whatever guy friends( i think they are crazy or perhaps blind) you have will be willing enough to bring you there and not worry about you getting harrass by the lustful men there. The reason is simple enough, the lustful men will run 2 streets away once they see you approaching them and be scared so much that they will not return to Geylang for 2 weeks at least. That's your power my dear! Use them well and it might make you more endearing. Stop asking me what you are suppose to do because i'm sure i said that 3 times at least and i messaged you to tell you what to do. I still kept that sms for evidence so you can't turn around and complain to big eye tutor that i didn't tell you to do anything because i did. At least Lizzie bothered to say that she don't mind helping out for the report. Oh Sandra, please wake up your idea soon or your peer assessment is going to be BAD!! *All names had been subjected to change to protect the identity of the victim of my whinings.* Other than this, my life is simply wonderful..yea right.

Sleeplessness is plaguing me again. Sleeping at 2am every other night is not helpful in keeping myself awake in classes. Too much bubble tea drains the cash and yet i need them to keep myself awake. The effects are lasting shorter and shorter and soon, i'll need to inject myself with bubble tea. Imagine the flow of sweet, sweet bubble tea in your bloodstream. Ohh..ecstacy! Pure ecstacy..

Have to wake up early tomorrow for bball match at CCHS Main like super early. I think it's 5 hours away from now. Oh lord, please bring me into dreamland soon. I've been doing, saying and listening to people subconciously nowadays. I even asked busy bee to shut up only to forget saying it 2 seconds later. No wonder she looked at me in shock. I'm shock too! I hope i haven't been saying nasty things to people around me. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe it's the bubble tea.

Enigma says: "It's difficult having to pretend that everything is ok when all i wanted to do is to end things. Why can't i just say it and everything is going to be ok. I brought up your hopes only to have to crush them. I'm sorry for my weakness but i simply don't know how to voice it out to you."

And so i learnt your name.

1:08 AM It's amazing how i managed to change my blogskin within 15 minutes and made all the necessary changes. I even managed to slot CBOX into a space where it's not suppose to be. Maybe BCA is really helpful for using to change blogskin and not Microsoft Excel? Ok i'm crapping! This skin is so pink! Does it look more cheerful now, Ms Su?

Seeing CL tomorrow! Yea! When was the last time we met up man? Bball, bball and more bball on thursday. I wish school was shorter on my favourite day as it means that i can get to my favourite activity faster. Hope she'll end early tomorrow just like other days.

Enigma says: "People make stupid mistakes everyday, so deal with it."

10:50 PM Celebrated ZJ's birthday in school today. We brought the cake in during BCA's tutorial and the tutor was complaining that we didn't respect him because we kept him in the dark about the surprise. Oh well, i don't think the class cares about what he thinks anyway. Ate the cake in the canteen after class as we don't want to disrespect him further hurhur.. The guys wasted the cake by smearing it on their faces. So dirty and it's a waste of cake. The girls just sat there and finished up their cake nicely. Tomorrow's Sharon's birthday. So many people's birthday this month! Felt so free today as i was too lazy to complete next week's tutorial so i took a much needed break. Napped and watched tv till 10pm and so now i'm here to do some work. Hopefully i'm discipline enough to do it :)

11:25 PM Notre Dame de Paris was fantastic! The songs, the dance, the backgrounds and the singing was just great. The only thing is that, i have to keep my eyes on the subtitles and the stage at the same time and it's so tiring. The first time that i watched a musical at the National Indoor Stadium, not a bad experience.

Watched "Step Up" today with CL. Had some "me" time in Borders today and it was good. Now i'm tired and struggling to complete my BCA tutorial. Tomorrow shall be the day where i start on my LMS project discussion proper and i hope it will be done. Skit have to be up on friday too, how dumb! As if we do not have enough work to do. BMGT presentation due on Thursday and i have not done anything on it yet so i guess i'm screwed again! Arg...

It's now 2.22am in the morning and i'm still awake on a school night. Hell, i shall skip my first lecture tomorrow and sleep in. Till then..

12:29 AM Gym rat..
Went to the gym instead of having bball training because it was raining. Did the usual workouts and i increased the weights for certain exercises. Don't want to increase weights actually but it's getting easier so i guess by increasing weight, it would be better for me? I want toned arms and not bulky ones like the one i saw today in the canteen. That would have been too much for me to bear. But he's cute :)
10/11/06
Another of my favourite date. It has 10 and 11 in it. I shall wait for next year's 11/10/07 and 10/11/07 because all my favourite numbers appear. Heehee..
I hate fridays because of all the work i get on friday. It burns up my weekends and it's so not enjoyable. It's only lovely when i get to meet my dearies for dinner and drinking. The watering hole we went today was at Chinatown. I really wanted to drink except for the fact that i was allergic to alcohol. How dumb! And so, i stuffed myself with coke and cigarette smoke.

Forgot to bring my pencil case to school again! It's like the 2nd time i've done that. Been forgetting to bring this and that out whenever i go to school. Getting real forgetful.
Whatever that is not in my organiser, i'm not going to turn up. I've learnt to say "NO" as taught by LMS. I'm learning what was taught in school and applying them to my life. Yeah..how interesting!

Enigma says: "The end is near.."

10:28 PM Went to school for a 2hr lecture. Couldn't really say that i wasted my time and yet, i know i can spend my time better elsewhere too. Really happy to wake up to CL's messages. So encouraging and it's a great start to the day not to mention that i stopped hitting the snooze button after reading the message. A short day in school means meeting my classmates for movie after school. Not a fantastic turnout but it's the first time i went out with the class. 4 guys and 2 girls watched "The Prestige" at Cineleisure. Nice show..i like the rivalry between the 2 guys and the surprise ending. Couldn't really figure it out, but as they say, " A magician never reveals his tricks". Piper Perabo from "Imagine Me and You" acted as the wife of Hugh Jackman. So pretty!!

Lunch was great too with that busy bee and fave partner. Muahaha..how ironic to hear someone's name and the exact same words you want to say too. Life is so ironic sometimes...

Been having so much lately that i just want a day where i can sit back and relax and not bother about anything. I thought today could be the day and yet when i see all the messages i received, it just puts me off. I seriously don't know what to do and it seems like, no matter what i do, it's never enough. Why apologised after doing something and not thought of the consequences earlier? I don't understand anything anymore. And i feel like running and running away from all this shit. Pressure from everywhere and everyone just keeps me so tense and snappy and then i get shit from you. I wish that i will be free. Maybe some initiative would be good? I read something that is really sweet, "If i'm successful, it is because i have a great woman supporting me. If you are successful, it's because i'm here waiting for you". This guy said this to his girlfriend of 2 years if i got it correctly.

Thank you A for remembering me even though i haven't been seeing you in weeks. Sometimes, a simple sms telling people to jia you is good enough even though i know you want to meet me. I'll meet you if i can..

6:18 PM I'm feeling the stress as more and more projects are to be done by a certain dateline. It's no good meeting early in the morning for project when everyone turned up late and people are not focus on the task on hand. There are so many creative ideas and i'm happy for that but please relate it to the project's purpose and objectives. There's no need to give so many freaking ideas when none fit the project at all. WTH, i think i'm going to flunk this module if my grades depend on the project.
On the other hand, tutorials also have to be handed up and it just pile on and on, so stop asking me out for dinner when i said i've got tutorials to be done. I know i haven't meet you in a week but how can i enjoy my dinner when at the back of my mind, i just want to rush home to finish my tutorial which is due today? I want to finish up everything quickly so i can be free when sunday comes. Does anyone understand that? What you said wasn't what you mean at all and now i understand. Just leave if you can't take it. I'm sure i'll do better alone!!!!

11:40 PM Tiring day..
Officiated at Jap Sch today and it's the first time that i am there. No cute guys except for one and he's the best player of the entire team. Even Ms Tan said that he's cute and calls him her eye candy. Didn't know she's interested in young guys :p

Had lunch and dinner with my fave partner today and an irritating guy joined us for dinner. Isn't it so obvious that i don't like you when everything i said was so mean. Haiz..guys, they just can't take subtle and obvious hints.

Project meeting tomorrow morning so i'm off to bed. Super, super tired and i don't want to analyse what your message mean anymore. I don't care and all i want is my bed.

9:50 PM Lovely, lovely day!
Finally found time to go to the gym this week with JT and CL. Did all our workouts and finally did abs exercise after so long. It's tough and yet we survived. If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger. I'm looking forward to a nice stomach with visible abs haha..

Shopping spree up next with them and we went to J8 for lunch. Bought so many things that i forgot how much i spent in total today. Love my new ring!! Actually, i love rings in general and i don't see why girls can't get rings for themselves. I just can't imagine a girl getting a ring for a guy instead. It's so wierd! Anyway, each of us got 1 so we're now officially the trio. Went back to AMK to get my tights and after getting it, we decided to head back to J8 again for our ice-cream. I think we're mad but it's all these madness that makes the day fun. Didn't bring my camera out today so no pictures to be uploaded. Having so much fun with CL nowadays that i'll be meeting her twice next week if everything turns up well.

Officiating tomorrow at Jap sch. Don't know how to get there so i guess i'll just have to catch a cab down. Meeting fave partner for dinner too if everything goes smoothly. With so much going on, i realised that i'm lagging behind in my tutorials again.

Why can't i close the msn window when you have already gone offline. Why do i still leave it there, visiting it again and again to see what have we been talking about. Please stop tormenting this tormented soul and just let me fall. I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

Enigma says: "Since when have things changed between us that all we exchanged are mundane stuff that's happening everyday?"
Gwen says: " I feel that i'm obliged to be nice to you when in actual fact, i don't. So why does the stupid idea pop up into my head so often?"

12:46 AM Bball on Thursday was absolutely fanastic. 8 people turned up and yet it was still as fanastic. Maybe it's just me..

Relaxing Friday!
Met up for project meeting after lessons and i went off to meet Cheryl for movie. Ended up watching 2 movies in a day and it was the most relaxing day i had. Totally relax while watching the movies and i totally enjoyed myself. Sometimes, movies just reflect what is happening in our lives at the moment. Certain phrases just hit us and we laughed like crazy. Oh well, only we will know. LMS module on friday was talking about dealing with breakouts and break ups. It seems to be a signal from up above.

Pampering Saturday..
Went for facial this morning with the nut and after that, it was off to the hairdresser. I kind of like my new hair cut. My aunts pamper me too much with all the massages and extra services. Heehee.. Went to SBC to meet JC to hitch a ride to Singapore America School. Nice game but then again, i wasn't really concentrating. Got a new SB from JC..diaoz..so wrong.

Sunday shall be the day when i work hard to finish my tutorials. I'm behind time again.
Received a postcard from dear Charlene all the way from Belgium. Well Deanna, you are not the only one to receive the postcard. Bleah :p

1:36 AM

11:33 PM

12:38 AM 2 matches today at UWC, Sharon and Mel went with me. Met my fave partner there and i was so happy! Haven't seen her in a while and so, we went for dinner after officiating. Chatted till 10 plus at Clementi before i head home alone because Mel went home first. Can't let her wait for me for so long so i asked her to go home with Sharon. Lonely bus ride was surprising fast. It may be due to the phone call or that i'm preoccupied with my thoughts.
I wish i am a simpler person..

I lost myself in school again. Can't figure out what time i'm suppose to be in school and what tutorials i have to pass up by tomorrow. Shit..luckily there's Mel, but her replies are SLOW!!
Feeling damn high this 2 days. It might be due to the sweet milo or something else that i'm not willing to face. Or it may even be Yu Zhen's funny interpretation of my job.

I don't want to bring my laptop tomorrow! It's heavy! Officiating at Australia School tomorrow so i'll have to rush down after school. It sucks to be bringing so many things around. I wish i have a car and i can drive myself around. Shucks..