Name
Gwendolyn (:

take me to the sky

11:54 PM Woke up super early this morning so that i'll reach Simei on time to officiate and i woke up to a dreary weather. Chilly and raining and the worse thing was, it was pouring when i stepped out of my house. I was drenched even though i was carrying an umbrella and it wasn't nice to officiate with wet socks and pants. Reached Simei and i thought everything was fine but once i stepped out of the bus stop, it starts to pour again leaving me soaked to the skin. I HATE rainy days! Officiating was kind of fun though. My partner was Kerry and i guess it was still too early for both of us to function normally so we covered up for one another. The players are so funny too, it's the slackiest game i ever officiated. Was laughing and smiling along with the players. Seeing sam today was a pleasant surprise too :)

Went for my facial with Yuen just now. Felt as if i'm in heaven. Was pampered from head to toe by my aunts and Yuen helped out too. Weets..i'm going again on Saturday after officiating. Dinner was great! Hotpot on a cold weather makes me eat so much that i'm feeling so full now. Ohh..i was taking a cab down to pick up yuen and the cab driver was a referee too so he sent us to our destination without taking a single cent from us. Felt so bad when i realised he didn't start the meter. Lucky girl ain't i? Who has ever taken a cab for free?

What must come will come and it is unavoidable. I'm glad i told you how i feel, it's so much easier now, i hope.

Princess, hang on and it will be over soon. Don't stress so much ok. Last paper and you will be free. Jia you!

12:24 AM "Snakes On A Plane" was ok. Not really my kind of movie and definately not a movie which i'll pay to watch. Busy officiating these few days and meeting up with my girls. Went to celebrate Char's early bday yesterday because she'll be out of town till next year. Oh man, i think i'll miss her haha..
Finished reading "The Time Traveler's Wife" and i'm now into "The Devil Wears Prada" and my comics. I need more time to finish watching all my vcds too. Just got "Devil Beside Me" and i think it's a nice show. Oh well, i need to spend more time at home to finish my shows and books.

I don't know what this is so save your terms of endearments till everything's confirmed. I seriously don't know what this is.

Seeing *erhm* today was a pleasant surprise. The surprise is greater when you don't expect it :) Merci beaucoup

Mr Mah told me that i can't officiate CP's game this saturday and i wonder why? Oh well, it's ok with me and i'll officiate whatever game comes my way.

I should go to bed since i need to be up early tomorrow to officiate at Simei, which is so freaking far away from my house. I can't get to sleep so i guess i'll toss in bed till sleep overtakes me.

I'm still keeping your messages.

Au revoir and bonne nuit

1:22 AM An Escapade to Escape Theme Park.
Well, i'm not one who's brave enough to take rides simply because i'm afraid of heights and i don't like things rushing towards me at a great speed so i don't really go for rides. I'm surprised that i actually agreed to go to Escape today. Was dreading it yesterday because i know i won't be fun to be with when i don't take the rides but it turned out quite all right today. I was actually game enough to try Viking, Rollar Coaster, Ferris Wheel, Haunted House and the Flying thing today and of course the Go Kart. Took Viking twice because some teenager behind me was "hiding" so the person in charge had to stop the ride and asked her not to "hide". She was cursing and swearing the 2nd time but i'm seriously glad that she stopped "hiding" and we wouldn't have to take the ride a 3rd time. Thank god for that!
Haunted House wasn't scary at all! Can't imagine why yuen, renee, ruiyi and deanna was screaming, the last time we were there and all i uttered was an "excuse me" to the "ghost" who was blocking my way. This time round, there wasn't a "ghost" to scare us and a 9 year old girl just walked behind us alone and aloof. She was walking with folded arms and a nonchalant face to boot. How brave! I was more afraid of the dark.
I simply love Go Kart as i was the driver. Got stuck getting up the slope the first time round but i was not a bad driver. At least i didn't crash and had to abandon car like the poor Indian lady. Now i wish i can drive..

I cried while watching "Click". Now who told me that it's a comedy and it's funny with Adam Sandler in it? It's such a sad show and it shows the modern world where it's difficult to balance work and family and all other obligations that people have nowadays. All the frustrations when everything is not going your way, all the empty promises made and the sacrifice of something just to turn up for another thing. All the anger, the tense muscles, the lack of smile, the frustrated feelings. It's only when everything is gone then people start to realise what is exactly important to them and see that work is not everything in their life. Do we really have to lose everything before we learn to treasure them? At least Adam Sandler had a second chance in the movie. Do we?
It applies towards friendships too. Do we have to lose a friend in order for us to realise that they actually care for us more then we know. Sometimes, too much concern can be a bad thing too. On the other hand, Kate whoever is hot! She's the wife of Adam Sandler in the movie :)

Wedesday tanning session is cancelled unless you all want to go without me. I have to fulfill my responsibility of being the eldest sister and bring the wayward, hormone charged teenager to the hairdresser. He only follows me to the hairdresser and refused to follow the parents. And so, the responsibility is dumped on me again. Oh well, i'm the eldest..

Officiating tomorrow and i'll finally get to eat my hotcakes tomorrow morning, yeah! Should be a tiring day. Meeting up with the girls on tuesday as my dear wifey is flying off to Belgium soon and will only be back next year. I do hope bball session will continue on even when she is not around and she'll see everything up and running when she returns next year. Praying hard...

The "korean" guy contacted me today. I shall call him the korean guy since his name sounds like one and his eyes make him look like one too. Lunch date shall be reconfirmed, i'm too lazy to travel.

My days are packed
And i am glad..

1:49 AM Woke up late today so there's no breakfast with baby. Took a long ride down to CSH for lunch and soon, it's time to officiate. AHS won Nanyang Girls, felt that i didn't do a good job but comments so far were positive. And it's off to the gym after that..muscles aching right now but i'm a happy girl. Next up, tanning session on Wednesday 30th August. Those who are interested, buzz me. Thursdays shall be reserved for basketball and nothing else in the evenings. Getting kind of dejected with the amount of people who turned up on thursday. Oh well, i shall hang on till everyone decides not to.
ACS tomorrow and YCK after that. Sunday shall be fun and Monday is a day where i start officiating again.
I shall start reading from tomorrow onwards.
I get hungry at the wierdest time of the day. Nearly 3am so i shall not eat..

2:03 AM Everything's over and done with and i'm dreading 15th Sept. I await it with anticipation and dread and i guess i just have to face it when it comes. Till then, i shall enjoy..
Filled up my days till the end of the month, which doesn't seem too far away, with officiating, meeting up with friends and of course the gym. Have been piling on the kilos during exam time and i just finished a packet of chips while on the phone. It's like 2am now? So now, i must work the excess weight off by exercising and not taking the easy way out. Looking forward to busy days till the end of the month.

Injury prone or should i say old injury prone? Can't seem to rid myself of the pain which my thumb is suffering no matter what i do. Taping does not even help when i play for long. I seriously hope that it will heal and i do not have to give up playing basketball. Can you imagine giving up something which you really love and watching other people enjoying themselves? I don't think i'll be able to take it, giving up is already bad enough. I can't stand watching people enjoying themselves doing stuff that i can't do. The ankle needs a little attention too. I do hope i can run tomorrow. It's the semi-finals. Why oh why do i lead myself into crap shit sometimes?

Things to do during the holidays:
1) Pack my room- books, notes and files
2) Trim my hair- it's looking like a lion's mane
3) Facial- horrible outbreaks due to stress
4) Exercise- keep the weight off
5) Read- so many, so many and i want more..Jodi here i come
6) Watch dvds and vcds- have been holding on to the nut's vcds for ages
7) Officiate- to keep the cash in hand
8) Meet friends- time to play!!
9) Bball, bball and more bball- i can't bear to give it up
10) Spend more time with baby princess
That's all i can think of at this moment. Probably more to come when the holidays start. Ohh..i want to watch *erhm* play too! Breakfast with baby tomorrow, hope i can wake up :) Lunch with the referees at CSH. Shall find a way to get myself out of this.

I realised that people perceived people to be dating when they are just close to one another. No matter the sex or gender, they perceived that proximity means that they are in a relationship. Oh well, i'm in a lot of relationships then, go figure. Haha..JC just reminded me that it's time to change my muse since the muse does not care about me anymore. Oh well, if it's that easy, i wouldn't mind, but he's definately not going to be the one.

It hurts no more. Time is a great healing machine. At least i don't spend my time thinking of you that much anymore.

12:34 AM And so...the day was spent shopping and watching movie.

"Ghost Game" was nice! It's the first horror movie i watched in ages. The ghost certainly looked like some politcal figure from China, i wonder if it meant anything? Ending was sad but expected, shall not divulge too much, before those who want to catch it, know about the ending here. Irritating guys behind me are just so childish! I hear Thai everywhere i go after the movie when we walked around AMK Central. Realised how pathetic Central is where there's practically nothing to shop for. Thank god for the pasar malem which kept us entertained for a while before we walked home. Yup, i walked home from AMK Central! Haha.. i exercised. Saw Gary and Angeline while we were crossing the road and they were in the van. Actually, i saw this wierd van with a hand sticking out and waving to me. On closer look, i realised the driver is Gary because i recognised Angeline who is beside him. Poor Gary, he's unrecognisable without Angeline :)

I've got a blue flower today..jia you!

12:49 AM My new slippers!!

Baby Ashley..cutie pie

More of the beautiful orange..



11:43 PM I actually woke up and tried to study today. Went to ACS after that to watch friendly match, CP against Hong Kah. Was supposed to be the audience and because of Jasmine's blurness, i had to take over and officiate instead. Needless to say, i suck! Was running around barefooted and now my feet hurts. Dinner with Grace, Ms Wong and the nut at pizza hut was fulfilling. Can't take in any more food after that so i had mango beancurd instead. Oh well, another day where i didn't study much. Looking forward to the holidays right now. So many things for me to do, so many plans. Hope i'll be able to do everything and enjoy myself to the fullest! Officiating during the hols would bring in much needed cash..

It's the day where i spoke to the wayward, hormone charged teenager.

I'm keeping my distance from you.

12:04 AM Econs paper down! 3 more papers to go with horrible stats being the last paper. Oh man..i hope i survived this.

Went shopping immediately after my paper. What a shopping freak i am, can't even wait till the end of the exams. What to do, have to buy birthday present for Ms Jasmine Teo. Bought her the Argentina sleeveless shirt from New Urban Male and while i was there, i bought a pair of
havaianas for myself. It wasn't on my wishlist and yet, i bought it. The hope of getting my red crumpler is getting further and further away. Bought a ring at 2 bucks too, damn cheap! Oh well, when i'm stress, i shop and eat and shop and eat. I love my gals because they are there and they make me smile. A hug from the nut is nice too. Thank you very much!
I really should be studying and yet i'm here. Ok 5 more minutes and i have to start on CIP. Heard that there is a lot to study. Opps..haven't touch it yet.
Oh..did i mention that guys in shirts are so smart looking? I like...

I laugh because i cannot cry. Thanks girls for just being there. Thanks Ms Wong! Thanks nutty.

12:26 AM Now i'm falling sick..in pain..

11:25 PM Why does all the nasty things have to happen at the same time? Uncle David called this morning and asked me to be in charge of deployment for ITE's matches the coming week. Now i'm stressed up doing it because everyone's not free and only Yuen and Kerry is free. Why oh why can't i just say no? I'm just not good at saying no so now i'm stress.

Then my brother had to choose today of all days to run away from home. I was studying hard trying to make up for lost time and yet i have to spend my precious time looking for him around the area. Luckily i took a nap in the afternoon so i guess i have to burn the midnight oil later.

Dell batteries were reported to have some problems and i'm suppose to check if mine is called for the recall. It's not, so i can plug it back into Twen when i'm done and she wouldn't catch fire. Hurhur..

Sometimes, i hate being the eldest in the family. It's like when things happen, i have to take up the responsibily of keeping house, looking after my brothers, look for my brother when he runs away, keeping everyone calm and happy, making sure that they talk without killing each other, bring food for my retarded brother(primary 6!!!) when he doesn't know how to purchase food from the damn canteen in his school and everything else. So what happens when i run away? Can the house function without me being the calm one and telling everyone else what the hell to do? My mum doesn't function when things happen, she panics and cries. My dad doesn't even care, and i wonder what does he know anyway. He never helps out around the house and just sits there like a goddess. Sometimes, just sometimes, i'm not that strong to hold on too. I wish i can put the burden down and just disappear and yet i can't. It's the responsibilties that comes with being the eldest of the family. So you can't blame me for rejecting to take up responsibilies too. I can't collaspe just yet, as i'm needed and yet i feel myself being torn in a thousand pieces. Maybe that's why i'm usually the serious and boring friend in the group. Maybe it's the exams stress that is building up or it's just pms. It's just issues like that, that makes me cry and cry and cry. Having horrible outbreaks too. I wish for my pillar of strength to appear before me right now. I need lots of hugs!! I wish to be free..


Your call kept my spirits up and yet you didn't deliver your promise.

2:00 PM 3 full days of fun with my darling girls!!! Had fun watching the Philips Singapore Cup with them the past 3 days and of cause, the late night eating at KFC, Geylang and Old Airport Road.
Fri 11/8
Bumpity bump into Mr He Shuming while on my way to school and he, on his way to camp. Went for S&W for 2 hours before meeting my babes at Douby Gaut for lunch. After that, we're on our way to the Singapore Indoor Stadium for some basketball action. 1st game started with Yulong Club from Chinese Taipei vs Singapore All Star. Singapore won this and after that, Argentina and Serbia & Montenegro took the stage with Serbia and Montenegro winning it. Argentina didn't play a good game i feel so the win by Serbia was justified. Spain won the match against Slovenia. Spain's strong this time! Dinner at KFC with Kerry, Deanna, Grace and Jasmine made the end of the day even sweeter.
Sat 12/8
2nd day of Philips Singapore Cup. Was up and awake at 7 plus so that i can reach SBC in time to officiate. Saw Yulong Club playing against the U18 and they won, of cause. No.24 was so close to me when he signed the photograph for May and all i can do is stare. My reaction is so slow, by the time i wanted to take his picture, he's done and walking away. Went Suntec to help someone get a gift for another someone. Tiring but luckily, i get a free ride down to the Indoor Stadium. Walked in through the backstage!! Went to the officials' restroom too! Had to reserve seats for the girls and it ain't easy doing it all alone. Melbourne Tigers won Malaysia All Stars easily. Boring match..fell asleep for a short while. Argentina won Slovenia with their great play and nice shots. Spain won Serbia and Montenegro too. Dinner at Geylang was superb. Great food and great company, what else can i ask for?
Sun 13/8
Met Kerry and Grace for breakfast before going to the Indoor Stadium for the last time. First 2 games was all right. Can't really remember who played against who. Fell asleep for 20 mins when Serbia & Montenegro played against Slovenia. Haven't been sleeping enough so i was extremely tired, haha woke up in time to see the exciting part of the game. Spain vs Argentina was what i was waiting for and thus, i was extremely alert too. Spain won in the end. My Carlos Delfino(Detroit Pistons) didn't play well! Can't deny that Spain was good. Pau Gasol's(Memphis Grizzlies) defense was GREAT! Spain had lots of good players like Juan Carlos Navarro (Deanna's fave and MVP), Rudy Fernandez and of cause, Pau Gasol. Argentina depended on Manu Ginobili(San Antonio Spurs) quite a bit and his shots were not falling in and i guess it's one contributing factor to their lost. Oh well..i can't complain when i get to see NBA players up close in Singapore. Dinner last night was at Old Airport Road. We wanted to take a cab down but there was no cab at all. Luckily, we met Georgie who gave us a lift. All 5 of us squeeze into her car and her car was groaning away with all the extra weight. Hurhur..funny sound it was making. Fabulous dinner and it was finally an early night for me.

3 full days of fun means that i have less time for studying. Exams start on Friday and i'm not done with anything yet. Or should i say, i haven't started on anything yet. Opps..i guess i should seriously try to start today. 3 full days of fun also means that i didn't see my baby princess for 3 whole days. She's in a good mood today and is smiling away due to unknown reasons. She seems to have put on some weight too..ah the power of love.

Teaching the heart to let go..

11:30 PM Happy 41st Birthday Singapore!
Met up with Gary, Amy, Edward, Luke, Rachael and Angeline today and we went to Bottletree Village for lunch. It's located at some ulu place in Sembawang and we had to pass through a jungle before we reached there. Felt like some illegal immigrant sitting behind the van waiting to pass through the customs. Food there was nice and so was the company! It's been ages since i saw Ed and Gary and they haven't change a bit other than Gary putting on a bit more weight.
Went out to study after that with the nut and Ms Wong. Ok so i finally touched stats, the module i fear the most. It's a fear really from my point of view. I mean, i can do it when i'm not having a test and i can't understand why i have to flunk so badly when it comes to tests and exams. Never have i been good with numbers and i hope that i can just pass the module. A pass is all i ask for! A pass is all i need. Haven't touch the other modules too. Opps..i'm so dead!

Having a terrible headache due to the lack of sleep. Slept at 3 plus yesterday and woke up at 10am. It's seriously not enough for me when i need at least 10 hrs of sleep due to unknown reasons. It was a habit for me to sleep at 3, 4 or 5am and now i can't do it anymore. I need to study!

The heart has to learn to let go before it can accept new things. But letting go of what is important to you is the hardest thing to do. Maybe time will help but how long will it take before the heart really learns how to let it go. Will it be able to accept the change or will there forever be a void and nothing can fill it up. Oh..the poor heart.

Ohh..and i realised that i'm commitment phobic. (Random) Walked a long way home again. I like taking long and lonely walks now since long and lonely bus rides don't work out. I'm queer this way. Never realised that i'm queer till today. Hurhur..unstable..

Baby princess is coming over tomorrow! Yea!! I missed her today and i wonder if she misses me too?

Your entries upsets me everytime and i dread reading it. And yet, for reasons unknown, i'm always drawn there and it hurts. I think i need to stay away and stop caring anymore. Hopefully it works.

11:38 PM Went to school for a 15mins biz stats lecture makes me feel like i'm dumb but i guess it's worth it since i suck at it. Met Deanna the nut after that and the first thing she said to me was totally out of point! We went to Candy Empire to buy candies! There's such a wide variety of candies, chocolates and what's not, there and somehow, i wasn't all that excited. I heard gasp of excitement from teenagers, JC students, mind you, exclaiming what toffees, chocolates, gummies are nice and picking them up for further inspection. And all i got was a chocolate bar, how pathetic. Ohh..Deanna went nuts there, buying so much till she ran out of cash for dinner. Was having dinner at Thai Express with the nut when Yuen arrived. Shopped around till it's time to watch the fireworks and we all bought stuffs. It was super crowded at where we were but we had a nice spot to sit and relax till everything starts. The fireworks was nice! The myriad of colours against the black sky was so beautiful that all i did was to let my eyes take in the splendour. There's no words to describe the beauty of the fireworks and no pictures since i didn't bring my camera with me. I guess i'm a die hard romantic..the person who asked me down to watch the fireworks was late and stuck in the jam. Too bad if you didn't catch it.

The most beautiful things are often short lived and missed opportunity will never knock again.

I guess i'm not someone who is fun to be with and can make people laugh. All i can do is to listen to what you have to say and just provide a listening ear and probably a shoulder too. I'm a lousy friend. I can't make people happy and laugh at my jokes but i do have some witty ones when the time comes. At least i'll definately be there when you need me to. I'll try to make time for you but will you make time for me, that's the question.

Saw YQ today again. Why do i always see her when i'm with him? Saw so many people today too. Calvin Fong, Yanhui(GP), Kwet Keong, Mr Chua, pokey face referee and ExMrBa.

My baby princess smiled at me so many times today that i lost count. Is that something good or bad? I just hope that it means i will pass my stats retest on thursday. I like her smell..she wouldn't be coming tomorrow :( Missing her already!

No fireworks for you, you big, fat, egoistic, braggart, shallow, pea-brained, nosy guy.

12:38 AM I should seriously get my ass down to study. Haven't been studying the past few days so i should start asap. I wish i could convince myself that starting now would be better than starting later. Oh well..at least i'm planning to start tomorrow and yuen will nag if i don't because i'm meeting her to study.

Went out earlier and walked around town. After that it's off to SBC again for a friendly match. I miss seeing Ah Yam at SBC and i realised that i haven't been down to SBC since the Youth Cup finals.

I want to watch Lakehouse!!

You are my motivation!

2:25 PM All right..i finally found the time to upload all my pictures taken with my camera.

Fun day with the girls at Manhattan Fish Market.

Pictures taken with the class.

The superstitious girl who thinks that she's going to die when she's the middle person when taking picture.

Superstitious girl gets it from the rest.

Yuen...playing with her hair. China doll?!

Taken with Whi in OB. Boring lesson!

Me and Claire in OB again..

The humble subject with the royal princess.

Sulking and superstitious girl with Yuen.

What's a humble subject going to do when royalty knocks?

The royal dining room where we had lunch.

Noble princess with her royal subjects.

1:46 PM Netball was fun today!! I was the GA so i can finally shoot. Ms P said that i shoot like a basketballer, but i am a basketballer what?
I think i should take a nap before meeting princess later. Woke up so early today for netball. Luckily it's the last lesson next week.

11:57 PM The self doubt sets in again. I wondered if i made the right choice. Can't seem to be enthu about anything at all but bball cheered me up today. Table topic sucks..i'm the first speaker because WS was late. Was trying to drag for more time and my conclusion was longer than the content. Hurhur..at least marks will not be deducted for not meeting the time requirements.
I'm not getting a kick out of netball. It's just so boring and it doesn't work me as much as bball. Bball is a much more active game then netball definately. Oh well, i tried to go as near to the basket as i can but i just can't put in the shots. I suck!!! I pushed myself hard today, not resting much after a game and not drinking water. Was running all over the place even though i had cramps in my calves and yet, i'm not happy. Spacing out is all i do nowadays, especially when i'm there.

I miss SR terribly! I miss all the time that was spent on the court, in the canteen, the study area, music room having literature lessons, toilet at sports complex, p.e room aka stuff room for p.e teachers, CCA room 2? and p.e lessons. Heck, i even missed the torturous training Ms R used to give us during rainy days because we can't use the court. I missed Mr and Mrs Kee, Wanyin aka wanton. I missed running on the track too and since everyone knows that i hate running, it's just another random sentence. I'm so random nowadays. Must have been affected by Mel and Sharon.

I miss you. And all that we had, the time that we spent, the laughter that we shared. It seems to be drifting further and further away from me and i hope to hold on till the day when i can let go. Your name still brings a flutter of beats...

11:31 PM Short day in school today. Brought my camera to school and took pictures with the class. Shall upload them when i have the time or when i'm using the desktop at home. Twen's got nothing much inside her and i don't want to clog her up.

Went to PS with Ms Wong after school today to meet up with Kerry, Yuen and Deanna for lunch at Manhattan Fish Market. That sweetie waited for me to end class so that we can head down to PS together. I thought that we would be late but we were the earliest. Yuen nearly missed our date today by being blur. She thought that we are meeting up at 5pm instead. Saw Shawn outside PS, he looked so different from what i remembered. Lunch was fun with Deanna providing the laughs by being the joke of the day. She seriously need more fish than any of us. Hurhur..that nutty girl.
Went to party world after that and had fun till 8pm. I seriously don't like the way everything stops when the time is up. We still have lots of songs to complete...managed to reach home at 9.20pm to catch my show. Damn..i keep missing the important parts.
No morning lesson tomorrow so i shall sleep in and complete my tutorials tomorrow morning. Exams are in 17 days time and yet i'm still not studying. Forgot to take dinner and i'm now starving. Refused to eat anything as it's bad to eat before bedtime and it makes one fat. Shall have a huge breakfast tomorrow then.

You irritate me big time, you big, fat, egoistic, braggart, shallow, pea-brained, nosy guy. What has it gotta do with you if i'm attending JY's mini concert tomorrow? Stop telling me that i'm off to oggle at cute guys rather than having dinner with you. Of course i'll rather oggle at cute guys than have dinner with you but the tone that you gave was damn irritating! You said to remain as friends but you're obviously not doing what you said. The tone of your voice gave everything away and i'm NOT going to meet you unless i really have to. Seriously considering about the job on Saturday. If not for the need of cash, i shall NOT turn up. And please stop proposing my name up to whoever's in charge because i don't need you to. I'm sure they'll call me if they need me and i don't want to be linked to you. Stop calling people around me too. They have their own lives to lead without you buggering them with your big ass and moobs. Get the hell out of my life!!