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Thursday, June 29, 2006
Realised that i can concentrate better when i study at the basketball court in Clementi Sports Hall. The games there aren't that interesting to keep me from studying and when i'm bored at looking at my notes, i just need to look up to see the action on the court. Not very interesting games as there are too many travelling violations and what's not, so i'll be back to my notes in a minute. That means that i did study yesterday and today. I'm tired of hearing that i'm made the leader of project work because i'm the oldest. Like hello? Wouldn't that make me the leader for every other thing? I don't like the extra responsibility of making sure everyone do their work or turn up for meetings. Why can't someone else be the leader? Irritating shit! Youth Cup, under 18 girls finals tomorrow. Combined School Vs Quan Yan. I wonder what antics he'll be up to this time? Heart fluttering, beating at twice the speed. I think i need the doctor. It was hurting so much just now that i bent over in pain. I miss Lian so much! Actually i miss Jac and Bin too. Shall meet them when Lian comes back from States. But Lian will be having school then. Oh well, we'll see how we can work around this. Do I love you because you're beautiful, Or are you beautiful because I love you? Am I making believe I see in you a girl too lovely to be really true? Do I want you because you're wonderful, Or are you wonderful because I want you? Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream Or are you really as beautiful as you seem? I really should be sleeping! My MVP, my MOM! Monday, June 26, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
What i did today was shit work. I'm glad my partner feels relaxed while officiating with me but i still feel bad. I know i didn't run hard enough and my calls were not loud enough. I even think i missed quite a couple of stuff too. The only thing i'm happy about was that PK said that my signalling was not bad. At least that's something good out of all the bad stuff. I beat myself up for officiating badly and it's not good. When will i learn to let go and stop berating myself? The news came as a shock to me. I guess i was affected by it. He was still alive yesterday and now, he passed away. I'm glad that we visited him yesterday instead of today. At least we managed to see him one last time. It will feel wierd not seeing him at SBC, not see him sitting at his usual place outside his room and not seeing him puffing away on his cigarette. It felt wierd today because he was not around. Somehow, SBC seemed different without him. Even chance meetings' are a result of karma and i believe that meeting him is arranged by someone up there. I remembered him for so many things. I remember him fixing the machines at SBC, teasing me, consoling me when i cried, having lunch with me, sweeping the floor at SBC, "bumping" into me accidentally, scolding those people who played bball in their slippers, nagging at me for rattling the glass door when it's locked, his wierd use of all different languages, his cold exterior and yet warm interior and him offering me food on the last day we met. I hoped he didn't suffer much. I realised that it's difficult to tame a wild tiger. All i get are injuries. "Beware my lord, of the green eyed monster for thou mocks the meat it feeds on." You are everything to me. You hold up my world, my dysfunctional world. Saturday, June 24, 2006
My horoscope for today reads "After all the energy you put into someone, letting them go is tough. But it's right." Haha..maybe it's really time to let go. I'm just clutching at a minuscule thread of hope and i see it slipping through my fingers. Finally watched XMEN yesterday! Went to the hospital yesterday too. It's so heart wrenching to see someone struggling to breathe using a machine although breathing is our second nature. We tend to take things for granted when we're healthy and well. He seemed to have lost a lot of weight and it breaks my heart to see him in this way. He was still well and walking about offering us food the last time i saw him and the next thing i know, he's lying on the hospital bed fighting for his life. I hope he'll pull through this. A common "cover up" for hurt is anger! One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it. "Without your love, I would die." Friday, June 23, 2006
Can't sleep so i shall post up long awaited pictures from our trip to KBOX on 13th June. Now, i shall try to rest early. Ciaos.. ![]() Weet, my new Nike jacket. It's red and white. My fave colours! Read about this author from LIFE! today- Jodi Picoult (pee-koe). Her books looks interesting. Maybe i should try reading them after Tony Parsons. I can't just love one author in my life right? Shall expose myself to new and better stuff. Introductions, anyone? All right, all right. Say whatever you want. Hell yes, i still care.
My kiddy set meal from Sakae. The little aeroplane carrying my food is so cute! It's JAL ok. Don't play, play.The food is nice, no doubt about that. That aeroplane just makes me want to eat and play like a kiddy again. Haha..the meal includes an ice-cream too! I'm the only one getting the ice-cream. So happy! Mummy, i wanna play!! I only want kiddy set meals that comes on the aeroplane because the other 3 sets don't. I no want mum mum to come in trays. Had Happy Meal the other day at Macs too. Got a toy to show for it. Woohoo..being a kid is so fun! Having good food at cheaper rates, getting ice-creams and toys just make my day. Thursday, June 22, 2006
Life is fragile. I treasure what i have now and shall not ask for more. It's human nature to want more but how much more can we ask for when what we have now is the best? Empty talk, empty promises What i want is not what i said I thought everything was going the way i planned Till i was pointed out wrong by my friends I still care, i still do Even though it may not be as much as before But the fact is, i care In subtle, little ways Which i don't even know existed Invisble to me and yet visible to people who knows me I'm a wreck An emotional wreck Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Cars was great! Who said that animations are only for kids? I saw many adults watching it today though there were a few kids. It's a great show and the ending was nice too. Nearly cried..haha. Lunch at Pepper Lunch was nice. It's the first time i've been there and i know i'm sua ku. Arg..i hate it when i have to buy things for my mum. Why can't she get it herself when she's home 24/7? My bros are old enough to take care of themselves so i don't understand why she can't leave them at home and get out of the house to buy it herself. Have to ask me to get it when it's so not convenient for me. Yes, i'm out most of the time but i don't go to places which sell the stuff she wants. Arg..so irritating!! Sometimes i wish there's 2 of me. One to stay at home and help out and the other, always out having fun. I wish for too much i guess. I shall try my best to sleep early today. I went to bed early last night but i just can't sleep. Monday, June 19, 2006
Had dinner cum supper at Chomp Chomp again!!! I think i should stop officiating at Braddell Heights so that i would not go to Chomp Chomp after that. I eat too much and didn't exercise enough. I'm putting on weight, not losing them. Oh god! I think i'm so saturated with officiating that i'm tired of it. I need a break.. Bought another novel today. Been purchasing quite a couple of books this few days. I didn't know that i'm so "thirsty" for books. Hur hur.. Bought about three books this week already. I spent so much on books, food and cab fare that i'm going broke. Oh man! Shopping trip tomorrow. I'm going to spend again! At least it's tangible stuff this time and not on food and cab fare. I LOVE TONY PARSONS!! I got his "Man and Boy", "Man and Wife" and "One for my Baby". I shall look forward to getting "Stories we can tell", but first, i must finish "Kafka on the shore". Human relationships are so fragile. How can you be so close to someone and then treat that person as though he's invisble. How can you care so much for someone and suddenly stop caring. How can friends become enemies? How can something so intimate be lost within days, weeks and months. Why are relationship between humans so vulnerable to the external changes? Why oh why are we so heartless at times? Friday, June 16, 2006
Had supper today AGAIN! I'm eating so much that my stomach is still bulging from all that food. It's my 3rd day at Chomp Chomp this week and mummy's wondering why i keep going there. Haha.. 3 simple reasons. The food's cheap and good. The company's nice on certain days. It's near my house. What else is there to say? All right..i slept early last night so it justifies me being up late again tonight. I wonder what time i'll fall asleep tonight. My schedule's packed and i can't remember what i have on what days. I need a personal secretary to tell me what i have. My brains can't seem to remember anything. It doesn't seem to contain anything except for memories and it's all jumbled up. "Sometimes the wall I've erected around me comes crumbling down. It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes, before i even realise what's going on, there i am- naked and defenseless and totally confused." Vulnerable to the tears that fall at night. I saw your visage in my mind. You are my superwoman! My superman, my MVP. Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Supper at Chomp Chomp with Baoma, Renee and Yuen after singing results in me getting home at 1.20am. Woo..i'm going to grow fat after all that late night eating. Two consecutive nights of supper is going to turn me into a big fat pig! I shall try to eat less for tomorrow. Meeting Yuen for lunch tomorrow and then off to work for me. I guess i shall try to sleep early! Sleeping at 4am is not an option now. It's a habit which i have to get rid off. No more trying to accompany people online. Got two ugly bruises on my knee. No wonder it's so painful! Think i'm getting old..it hurts when i run too. Wierd..it might be artiritis. Your words doesn't affect me as much as in the past But you managed to appear in my dreams night after night Am i really over it Or am i still harbouring hope Tossing and turning in bed Waking up with fuzzy memories of dream Lingering smell Nothing seems clear Not even the dreams Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Fri's trip to Cairhill CC. Can't rotate this photo no matter how. Love yuen!! The two jersey number 11. Falcons and Chilli Peppers. After the game! Getting momentary distracted during officiating is a big NO! Luckily i've got Ms Wong to cover my ass for me today. Never had so much eye contact with my partner before. Usually i'll just ignore my partner and pretend that he's not there. Then i seem to focus better. I seem to sense that something like that will happen even before i stepped into court. Is it you or me? I can't sleep again! Think i'm suffering from insonmia. Have to wake up early tomorrow morning for bball again. Haha hope i'll be awake when i play tomorrow. Maybe i should stay awake till then since it's only a couple of hours more. The very first time we touched. I wished it would last but it was just a fleeting moment. Plead the fleeting moment to remain.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
I'm so fed up with all the shit. Too much information bombarding me and i can't process anymore. I'm losing myself. I don't know what to say and when to say. I don't know what to do and when that happens, i run and hide. That explains why i want to curl up in bed and read. It's my way of dealing with everything. I shall MIA soon. Don't sms me because i won't reply. Don't call me because i won't pick it up. Don't try looking for me at my house. I will appear when i want to, will reply when i want to and answer my phone when i want to. I shall go look for my book and my chocolate in the meantime. I seriously don't understand why everyone is so caught up with the World Cup. I want to watch my NBA which i recorded this morning but i can't because my brother decides that he wants to catch the first match of the World Cup. I want to watch how Dallas won the Heats and he wants to watch Germany play. I'm so nice to allow him to watch his game and he's now sleeping on the sofa. WTH?! I can't watch my game because he wants to watch his, and he's now sleeping? Arg.. I love my number 10! I'm looking for that missing piece. Jaded... I wish i can leave everything, ignore everything, every comment, every advice and just flee the country. I thank everyone for their advice but i think it doesn't concern anyone of you so why so much talk? I don't want to be know as whoever and whoever's "friend". I can't take it. I thought friends will stand on my side but i was too naive. I may look fine and carry on joking and stuff but i'm sick of everything. Why can't things be simpler? I like simple stuff because i'm just a normal person. What's wrong with just being friends? Friday, June 09, 2006
Yea!! Last paper today and i went off straight to meet my dearies after my paper. Our usual meeting place is--Tcc! Ta dah! Took pictures and Deanna looks constipated because she's not in a good mood today.
Only Yuen can react to the camera in a split second. Deanna's too engrossed in her talking to care.
This cameraman has got serious parkinson disease! Notice that i'm always the one holding the camera in the pictures above? That's because Ms Leanne Wong is suffering from parkinson disease and there's no cure for her. All the pictures she took turns out blurry and this is the only evidence left since she deleted the rest. I love my dearies! Thursday, June 08, 2006
Why is what happened, happening again? I'm glad i'm well enough to handle it now. I wouldn't fall no matter what. I shall stand victorious at the end. There was a distance between us that i couldn't seem to bridge no matter how hard i tried. There were walls dividing us, putting me in place. Reminding me that the distance is good for me. "When man enters the land, he should only leave footprints and take only memories." "Sometimes we have to stay away from the things we love, and learn to appreciate the things we need." Wednesday, June 07, 2006
The distance made me see everything clearer. You're not as perfect as i thought. The fog cleared, the road seems clear and i'm travelling down it again. Monday, June 05, 2006
Supposed to be sleeping at this time but i slept too much in the day so couldn't sleep now. Arg..test is 10 hrs from now and yet i still haven't touch it yet. I much rather be shooting hoops then stay at home to mug. Running around with a whistle is not that bad too since moolah is coming in. I'm such a slacker.. Thumb's too sore to be used for replying smses. I hope i can write tomorrow or else i'll just hand up a piece of empty crap. Haha..i just hope that thursday is here fast, fast. I want to go to the GSS!! I want to shop and hang out with my darlings. Can there be no wednesday this week? Saturday, June 03, 2006
I guess i'm at the bottom of the pit again. I can't seem to do well in anything nowadays. I'm a bell-shaped curve. Reached the peak and is currently on the downward limb of the curve. Shitified officiating! I'm full of shit nowadays anyway. I can feel it when i was running. The rumbling stomach. The shitified feeling. My poor thumb is now purple. Injured it while playing bball today. Middle finger haven't recovered and now my thumb is bruised. I'm just glad it's not the old injury again or mummy will scream at me for always injuring my fingers. No wonder they're so short and small, if i continued injuring them, will they disappear? Haha..that will be so funny!! I hate waiting. For people, For time to pass, For answers, For anything. I get frustrated And that's so not nice. Everything's back to normal. I just hope i wouldn't fall again. But sometimes it hurts a little, just a little. Doing silly things again when i know i should be doing other more important things like studying. Oh well, how long can i stay being silly? Sleeping at 3am in the morning is one of it. Just being there is another. Wonderful, wonderful day spent with wonderful people! Met Deanna and Yuen on the bus and we took the train down to meet the rest of the ballies. Realised that i haven't seen them in ages. We went to Siam Kitchen at Suntec for dinner. Woohoo..we ordered lots of food and stayed there for a couple of hours. Never laughed so much in one night before. Was laughing till my tears came out and my sides were aching! Oh man! I missed them already. It's always so fun to hang out with them. Muack, muacks. Meeting up again on the 13th ok! Everyone please remember! On our way to meet ballies! Our table that's full of food! We're the early birds. The others were late.
Finally..all 8 of us! Thursday, June 01, 2006
![]() Went to megabites for lunch with the rest of the class after presentation. Took more pics there! It was fun hanging out with them. Most of them have their heads on the right way. Skipped OCOM again. I guess the lecturer gave up on us. He put up notes online again anyway. Ok shall go study soon as common tests are coming. No time, no time. Fri: Dinner with ballies. Sat: ACS again/ Referee Sun: Referee Mon: Start of common tests Isn't it time? You say. I would have said "No" in the past. But now, i think the time is right. The hurt and pain is gone. All i hope is that, It would really be something of the past. You brought me up to heaven and push me down again "Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Where is this beautiful girl?" The songs that are playing right now are so nice that i don't want to switch off my radio. This is so random. I shall go study. Ciao! I don’t know what’s wrong with blogger. Can’t seem to log in the whole day. I’m sick! Wasn’t feeling very well in the morning when I went to school yesterday. Had 2 hrs of OB tutorial when I suddenly felt my temperature increasing. Nearly died in econs tutorial. Brains weren’t working and when Mr Pon asked me questions, I just can’t answer them. Came home after econs and that means I skipped Stats. Luckily this chapter is not included in the test or I would have died. Didn’t turn up in school today too. Rest at home and it felt nice doing nothing in particular. I guess I kept myself too busy and that’s why I fell sick. This is a good chance for me to rest. My brains are too fried to think of anything and now I must prepare for my speech tomorrow! God bless! “You have to learn to let go. Its part of what it means to love someone. To really love someone. If you love someone then you don’t just see them as an extension of yourself. You don’t just love them for what’s in it for you. Love means knowing when to let go.” I can feel the distance I hope I’m just being too sensitive There used to be so much to talk about And now it’s reduced to one-worded answers There will also be times when I’m lost for words Where I’ve got no way to tell you what I’m feeling Since when have things changed To become so cold between us I feel a wall so thick Where I cannot penetrate It stood between us As strong and firm as a wall can be Yes I do miss you Ms Renee Wah!! I miss your laughter and the crazy stuff that you do. Actually I miss everyone from SR bball. No. 4-Ms Wong Yuen Yan – the one who keeps me sane and puts my head back in place every time. No. 5-Ms Deanna Tan – Our bb junior aka the bulldozer. Saw her every other day so she’s not dearly missed. No.6 –Ms Wong Yan Sze – The one missing in my life right now. No.7 –Ms Jocelyn Seah – The one who shoots like a prawn (surprisingly, this is the only thing I can remember her for.) No. 8 –Ms Grace Chng – The tough cookie. Skinny yet tough. The one who air walks. No. 9 –Ms Lim Pohshan – The ever gentle and soft spoken girl. Bball seems too rough for her. No. 11-Ms Fu Huili – The smallest yet most lethal on the team. No. 12-Ms Joan Tan – Captain and the fastest running object on the court. Mr Kee said she runs on diesel. No. 13-Ms Ena Ng – Currently studying in Australia. My breakfast mate. Usually the first I see in school. No. 14-Ms Koh Ree Yi – Another soft spoken girl. Nurse to be. No. 15-Ms Tan Yan Hui – My gay part. The one whom I used to shared secrets with. My kopitiam kaki. Not to forget Ms Jasmine Teo! The one who burps like no tomorrow. The breast whacker. I’m glad that alumni is coming again. Looking forward to July. That’s when I can see everyone again and Ena will be back. That’s also when everyone will get to play bball again in a team.
Shuming Cheryl Chris Gary Andrea Heather Valerie Bin Edward Amanda Lim Ruiyi YanSze Ena Tirene Shanice Grace Deanna Yong Heng Jasmine Grace Yuenxin Leanne Jieyang Catherine Jerome Joyce Renee Ngern Whi Claire Denise Melissa Peizhen Yuzhen Sharon Baoshan Charlene Cheryl Leow Michelle Shirley skin by: joshua basecodes by: hilary image/texture by: x x links here.
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